


i could be

by ziams (brokenglass)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-24
Updated: 2013-01-24
Packaged: 2017-11-26 18:48:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/653315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenglass/pseuds/ziams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Zayn looks up at Liam, reprocesses the words that have just spilled from the boy he loves mouth and his head starts to scream, 'Say something you idiot!'</p><p>or the one where Zayn doesn't think Liam knows that he loves him. (but really he does)</p>
            </blockquote>





	i could be

Zayn ran his fingers through the mass of black hair on his head, a loud sigh tumbling from his lips. He had been up all night, fighting with himself. ‘You need to tell Liam!’ his head screamed, but then his heart, the more fragile organ screamed louder ‘Liam won’t love you back fool stop dreaming’. He doesn’t even know when it started, doesn’t know why he’s fallen in love with his God forsaken best friend.

Although, he does know. Liam’s just got that aura around him, a softness that Zayn hasn’t seen before. He’s got the warmth of someone who you can just fall into the arms of after a bad day, Zayn knows because he often has.

But Zayn knows his heart is right, Liam’s straight, right? He’s only ever had girlfriends, Danielle, being one of them. So they broke up a month back – resulting in Zayn comforting Liam for two nights straight – but that doesn’t mean Liam doesn’t love her anymore. Because Zayn can see, can see the hurt in his eyes every time she’s scheduled to dance for them in a show, can see how he flinches when her names mentioned. And somehow, Zayn’s thankful that Danielle ended things, he knows its hurt Liam and nothing is worth seeing Liam said, because it really does break Zayn’s heart but, they’ve had more time to be Liam and Zayn, Zayn and Liam. Not, Liam and Danielle, Danielle and Liam. It’s nice; he hasn’t spent much time with Liam since before Liam and Danielle were public.

Wouldn’t it be better off just to tell him? Niall had said when Zayn told him. It was only Niall out of the other three boys who knew. He didn’t even want Niall to know, but the blonde Irish boy had somehow stumbled upon Zayn in a blubbering wreck a few months back after hearing that Danielle and Liam were going to move in together. Somehow all the feelings just poured out of him as the younger boy sat beside him, wrapping his arms around the elders shaking frame.

But what if Zayn did get the courage to tell him just how he felt? What if Liam looked at him in utter disgust and then never spoke to him again? That’s more than Zayn could handle, never talking to Liam Payne, his best friend ever again? Not even going to happen.

Zayn sighs heavily before slipping on his shoes and heading out the door. It was another day in the studio, another way for Zayn to overly think things and fry his brain. It was also another chance for Liam to be his usual all too touchy feely self. Zayn knew that Liam did it innocently, as a friendly gesture. But with every touch and warm smile Zayn’s insides would scream with heat and his cheeks flush over with a little pink colour that you see on little baby girls.

It had become clear to Zayn that to stop his feelings for Liam increasing and becoming out of control – even though they probably already are – he simply has to avoid him. He’ll sit with Niall on the other side of the studio; keep his attention on the work and not Liam’s facial expressions. And when Liam confronts him about his awkwardness afterwards he’ll just say he’s not feeling well, and Liam will tell him to feel better in the morning and that will be that. Another successful day for Zayn’s heart and another failed day for his head.

He shuts his door and see’s Niall coming towards him from down the hall, he offers him a warm smile as he approaches him.

“Was just coming to find you, the cars here” Niall’s thickly accented voice warms Zayn’s insides that are churning away.

“You thought about telling Liam yet?” Niall asks softly, doesn’t know how else to approach it.

“Going to avoid him today, you know just so he doesn’t keep touching me and almost make me give it all away” Zayn says with a shrug. Niall wants to object, but Zayn shakes his head softly at him and Niall nods in defeat. He would never have talked him round anyway. Niall and Zayn slip into the car, Zayn see’s Liam smile in his direction, but he pretends not to see it and looks out of the window as the car pulls away. Liam won’t know.

But Liam does know. Liam knows why Zayn’s started to become distance, why he flinches away from his touch, because Liam feels the same way, wants to hold Zayn in his arms and call him his. A part of him wants to just go right up to Zayn, take that beautiful face in his hands and kiss him until there’s no air left in his lungs, but the other part wants to see Zayn tell him how he feels. He wants to hear the words come straight from Zayn. But he’s been waiting, waiting too long for it he’s starting to lose patience.

He notices that when they enter the studio, that Zayn bolts to the end seat and Niall sits next to him, not even giving Liam chance to sit next to Zayn. And it tugs somewhere in his chest to know that Zayn’s shying away when he really should be jumping on him at every chance he got. Liam knows now that it’s time. Time for him to just go up to Zayn and tell him that he loves him and that he and Danielle broke up for one reason and one reason only, it being that Danielle was so annoyed that Liam always spoke about Zayn, made time for Zayn that it made her sick to the stomach and it really made her hate the Bradford boy even though she shouldn’t.

So as Liam sits next to an overly affectionate towards each other Harry and Louis he thinks it through, for starters he has to somehow get Zayn on his own which nowadays is getting pretty difficult because the damned boy just won’t stay in his company for more than three seconds.

Then he has to actually tell Zayn how he feels, and there are many different ways that Liam could tell him. There’s straight out, but maybe Zayn would just think he’s making a sick joke and then get upset. There’s just kissing him and seeing a reaction, but that could also result in Zayn being upset, so maybe he just has to be slow and gentle, ease Zayn into it. Because no matter what Zayn looks like on the outside – sometimes uncut facial hair, mainly looking like a homeless person walking the streets – Zayn is a very fragile thing, which you need to treat like cut glass, with the upmost care.

And so Liam plans this in his head, and watches Zayn as he does so. Zayn’s got this poker face on where all his thoughts seem unreadable. Niall keeps touching him, Liam knows its just to be sympathetic towards Zayn but Liam can’t seem to shake off the feeling of jealousy because he really wants to be able to touch Zayn and tell him everything’s going to be ok when he’s having a bad day.

It’s when they’re in the van again, going back to the complex that Liam pulls Zayn down beside him and gets as close to him as he can. Their knees touch, their shoulders touch and Liam can feel the blood thrashing through his veins like wildfire because he’s going to tell Zayn how he feels and the thought alone is making his heart beat faster than it ever did with Danielle. As soon as the curly haired girl makes her way into Liam’s brain she’s straight back out again because Niall is smiling at Liam, because Niall knows just by looking at him what Liam is up too.

As soon as Liam and the boys are in the complex Harry and Louis make their excuses and retreat to their own room. Liam looks at Niall and tries to communicate with him through his eyes -- meaning Liam’s kindly telling Niall to go find some food while he tells Zayn the truth – and Niall’s a smart kid, he realizes just what Liam wants and does indeed go off to find some food. It leaves Zayn sitting rather uncomfortably in the armchair trying to think of an excuse to just leave because the tension is rising and it’s starting to make him feel sick.

“Hungry too” Zayn mumbles, he isn’t barely out of his seat before Liam has jumped up and pinned him back down onto the armchair, the sudden contact knocks the air out of the two boys bodies, they lock eyes thousands of questions pouring out silently. Zayn’s tongue sweeps across his dry lips, eyes still locked with Liam’s.

“Look Zayn, you’ve been avoiding me for how many days now and it’s not ok, ok? You can’t just shy away from me because I physically can’t take that. Just don’t avoid me ok, I know why you’re doing it. I know you too well for that, you think I haven’t noticed Zayn but I have and I want you to know, I feel the same Zayn I fucking love you!” The words rush out of Liam’s mouth and he instantly curses himself mentally because he wasn’t meant to play it that way. Gently was the plan, but no, Liam’s hot headed self emerged and it just came out.

Zayn looks up at Liam, reprocesses the words that have just spilled from the boy he loves mouth and his head starts to scream, ‘Say something idiot!’

“Li, I. Are you, what do you me—“

“Zayn, I could be everything you want, I promise that I’ll love you with everything I have and you’ll be the only one I love Zayn, I promise just give me a chance and I could be yours” Liam’s lips are so close to Zayn’s that he can feel his warm, smoke drenched breath and he loves it, he loves every crevice, every square inch of Zayn’s mouth, from corner to corner he wants to call it his.

Zayn moves his face towards Liam just that little bit more and their lips meet. Some people say that you have moments of impact in your life, and to both Liam and Zayn this is a moment of pure, blissful impact. Their lips connect and fit together like the last pieces of the jigsaw puzzle, it’s the satisfaction when you see it sitting on the table looking exactly how it’s meant to look. That’s what the kiss felt like; the ‘Finally’ people always say when two people who are meant to get together actually get together. Liam pulls away from Zayn breathlessly, a satisfied smile spread on his swollen and puffy lips.

“I love you”

“I love you forever Liam”

**Author's Note:**

> this was wrote ages ago and posted on my tumblr (ziamhs) and i thought i'd post it here too.


End file.
